On Our Love

Even though I wanted you. I think that you seduced me into loving you more than I wanted to. I'm glad you didn't try to hurt me or disappear but I'm even more scared to spend the next few years drinking in your tainted love.
Moving from being hungry to being poisoned, slowly.

Thinking out loud

It doesn't actually get the problem sorted. It just reminds you of all the things you've tried already so when you see something that you haven't tried, you remember that you should.

I wish I knew how to care

While other learned how to love, I learned how to hide my feelings bury them so they could not find their way back to heart.
Today I suffer cause I can't take it. I hear my feelings screaming for attention but I don't know how to reach them. I keep looking for someone who can do that for me. Complete the jobs I started.
I will never be able to love this way.

Sleep

Sometimes I don't sleep at all. I don't give myself permission to feel, because it hurts too much.
I talk to you on the phone, like its all ok. You never came to love. I am afraid every step of the way.

Forever and a day

I want to wait forever and a day for you. But its been years and I got lonely. Was I wrong?
Will you ever arrive? Have I already met you?

If you're not the one, who is?

If I have nothing to fear or to be envious of, what is this catching feeling in my heart and my soul. Why can't I just let it go? Words make my emotions beautiful when I write it down and look back but otherwise I am in agony. My emotions are a cruel master and you are my muse. I follow your lead and hope you see me through to the other side or I will drown trying. But I will not say here.